by Mary J. Blige is universally known as the Queen of Hip Hop Soul, but one song that truly holds a special place in her heart is the R&B classic “Harden My Heart” by Teddy Pendergrass. This iconic song was deeply meaningful for Blige during a difficult time in her life, helping her find the strength within herself to overcome adversity. As a devoted fan of Blige for over 25 years, I completely understand why this song resonates so deeply with her.
The first time I heard about the significance of “Harden My Heart” for Mary was in a 1994 interview with Rolling Stone. When asked about the songs that inspired her through tough times, she instantly named this Pendergrass hit. She explained how the lyrics about persevering through heartbreak spoke to her during her struggles with depression and self-doubt. “That song saved my life,” she declared. “It helped me realize I wasn’t alone and could overcome anything.”
Blige has returned to this theme over the years in various interviews, always emphasizing how much that song motivated her to keep going strong. In her recent 2021 memoir “My Life,” she devoted several paragraphs to describe just how important “Harden My Heart” was during her traumatic childhood and early career. She called it her “anthem” and said it gave her the hope she desperately needed.
As a fan who also finds so much inspiration in Blige’s music, I completely understand how a song can take on an almost spiritual significance at certain times in life. The way the raw, soulful vocals of Pendergrass capture the pain of steeling yourself against heartbreak, combined with the powerful melody, make “Harden My Heart” the perfect anthem for getting through tough situations.
When you combine that with Blige’s own struggles, it makes perfect sense why this song became her battle cry. The early 90s were such a pivotal time for her, trying to breakthrough while dealing with personal demons and industry pressures. She was fighting to believe in herself, working past deep wounds from childhood trauma and abusive relationships.
So when Blige heard lines like “Girl, before you walk out my life / Before you just turn and leave / Listen to me one more time,” I can just imagine how she felt Pendergrass was singing directly to her. Urging her to be strong, have faith in herself, and keep striving no matter how difficult things got. Those lyrics clearly resonated at the core of her spirit.
This is exactly what music is meant to do – speak directly to our souls and give us the extra fight we need. Whenever I face challenges, listening to an empowering song like “Harden My Heart” helps me tap into that same strength. It reminds me that I’m not the only one who has felt this pain before, and I have what it takes to get through it.
It’s amazing to me that still today, over 30 years later, Blige continues to cite this song as such an inspiration. In various interviews, she’s reiterated how she leans on “Harden My Heart” whenever she needs to revisit her fortitude. She has called singing it live in concert a transformative experience, almost spiritual for her. That just demonstrates the timeless, healing nature of music.
This Teddy Pendergrass classic will forever be interwoven with Blige’s career and personal journey. It helped steer her through overwhelming challenges early on and continues fueling her today. That’s why whenever I hear the empowering lyrics of “Harden My Heart,” I think of the Queen herself. This song is an eternal testament to Blige’s strength and resilience. It captures so much of what makes her such an inspiring icon to me and millions of fans worldwide.
