by Lady Gaga has long been an outspoken advocate for mental health awareness and support. She recently shared her “five golden rules” on how to be there for someone who is struggling with their mental health – wise and thoughtful advice coming from her own lived experience.
Say What You See
The first rule Gaga highlights is to simply say what you see – to let the person know you see they are struggling and that you are there for them. She emphasizes the importance of acknowledging when someone close to you seems to be going through a difficult time, even if they haven’t explicitly said so. Take the time to ask how they’re doing, and let them know you’ve noticed they don’t seem like their usual self lately. This opens the door for them to confide in you and feel truly seen. Oftentimes, those struggling with mental health issues feel invisible or like a burden on those around them. Voicing your concern and care can provide much-needed comfort.
Show You Care
The second golden rule follows the first: show the person you care through your words and actions. Listen without judgment, offer your support, and provide encouragement. Gaga stresses the significance of truly listening, not just waiting for your turn to speak. Be fully present and engaged in the conversation, making eye contact and giving your undivided attention. Withhold any opinions, judgments or lectures – the goal is to create a safe space for the person to share freely and feel heard. Offer heartfelt encouragement by highlighting their strengths and reminding them you believe in their ability to get through the difficult time. And of course, follow up in the days and weeks after your conversation to check in and continue demonstrating your care and concern through ongoing support. This consistency can make a world of difference.
Hear Them Out
Gaga’s third rule compliments the second: let the person talk through their feelings and experiences without interrupting. Let them share at their own pace and comfort level without cutting them off. Ask open-ended questions to learn more about what they are going through, but don’t pressure them to share more than they are ready to. Even just a few minutes of truly being heard can be invaluable support. Never dismiss or downplay what the person is sharing – their feelings and struggles are real even if you don’t fully understand them. Maintain eye contact and give reassuring nods to show you are actively listening. Allow for moments of silence and reflection. Being heard provides significant validation and relief.
Know Your Role
The fourth golden rule is an important one: know your role as a friend, family member or loved one, and understand your limitations. Unless you are a professionally trained therapist, your role is not to diagnose or treat mental illness, but to be a caring, supportive member of their network. Express your concern and willingness to help connect them to professional care if needed. Suggest trusted resources like a school counselor, doctor or therapist, crisis hotline, support group or mental health advocacy organization. But ultimately, the choice of whether and when to seek treatment must be left up to the individual. Your role is not take over or direct their journey, but to walk beside them offering compassion and encouragement along the way.
Connect to Help
That brings us to Gaga’s final rule: if the person is in crisis, help them connect to professional help. While our instinct is often to want to solve things ourselves or keep their struggles private, mental health crises require trained support. If the person expresses any desire for self-harm, seems emotionally unstable or shares Warning Signs of a potential emergency – do not hesitate to call emergency services or a crisis hotline. Your care could save their life. Err on the side of caution and trust your gut. Connecting someone in a dire crisis to urgent medical care is the most important way to be there for them.
Lady Gaga understands firsthand how vital it is for those struggling with mental illness to feel seen, heard and supported by their loved ones – and for those loved ones to know where their role begins and ends. While she emphasizes that none of us are alone, she is realistic that friends and family cannot be expected to take the place of mental health professionals. By following Gaga’s golden rules, we can provide critical comfort and care, while also gently helping guide people toward trained resources, advocacy groups and treatment centers.
Her advice comes from a place of deepest empathy, reminding us to lead with love and understanding. Gaga believes in the collective power of little monsters looking out for one another. By sharing her wisdom, she hopes we can all be there for our friends, family and community members battling mental health challenges. After all, our support could truly save or change a life. Gaga wants sufferers to know without doubt that they are heard, valued and never alone.
The Bottom Line
At its core, Lady Gaga’s message is that compassion and human connection can make an immense difference in someone’s mental health journey. Something as simple as asking “How are you?” and truly listening without judgment may be a turning point. Letting them know you see their struggle and are there for them, while also gently guiding toward professional support, can provide relief and even save lives.
Gaga reminds us mental health should never be a taboo or secret topic avoided in whispers. We need to bring it into the light as we would any other health challenge – with understanding, validation and care. Her own openness about living with mental illness sets an empowering example that helps chip away at stigma.
While deeply personal, mental health is also a collective issue requiring solidarity and community-building. Gaga’s advice equips us all to look out for each other and be that non-judgmental listening ear for someone in need. We all need to know others care. None of us can – or should have to – go it alone. Helping connect people with mental health care is an act of love that upholds their dignity and rights.
Gaga beautifully demonstrates the kind of unpretentious, compassionate support we each have power to provide if we follow her lead. At a time of rising mental health struggles, particularly among youth, her message matters more than ever. Each small act of empathy brings us one step closer to the accepting, inclusive world she envisions. Wherever you are on your mental health journey – as a struggler, supporter or both – please remember Lady Gaga has your back. And she wants you to have each others’ backs too.
