by Michael Jackson is undoubtedly the “King of Pop”. With his smooth dance moves, iconic fashion, and legendary music catalog, Jackson transcended pop music and became a global phenomenon. His 1982 album Thriller remains the best-selling album of all time, and songs like “Beat It”, “Billie Jean”, and “Thriller” are pop culture staples. However, despite the massive success of “Billie Jean”, Jackson actually felt quite awkward singing it.
“Billie Jean” was released as the second single from Thriller in January 1983. It tells the story of a woman named Billie Jean who claims Jackson is the father of her child. The narrator denies these allegations, singing “Billie Jean is not my lover, she’s just a girl who claims that I am the one, but the kid is not my son”. The song is threaded with themes of paranoia and obsession.
Musically, “Billie Jean” showcases Jackson’s talent as a singer, dancer, and performer. The bassline is one of the most recognizable in pop music history. Jackson’s vocals alternate between a soft falsetto and an aggressive growl. The famous video features Jackson dancing seemingly effortlessly, popularizing his iconic moonwalk dance move. “Billie Jean” topped the charts and helped propel Thriller into the stratosphere. It also scored Jackson his first Grammy wins.
However, despite the widespread acclaim and historic success of “Billie Jean”, Jackson felt quite awkward singing the song live and often tried to avoid it. In a 1988 interview with BBC Radio 1’s James Whale, Jackson admitted:
“I just hate performing ‘Billie Jean’. I always feel uncomfortable singing it, to tell you the truth.”
Jackson went on to explain:
“The song is about this girl who says I’m the father of her child. To this day I hate hearing it. The song is just not natural to me.”
He elaborated further:
“I don’t think performing it live is something I’m comfortable with. It’s a great song, don’t get me wrong. But singing it makes me feel odd. Like I’m promoting this kind of behavior that I don’t agree with.”
Jackson’s discomfort is understandable. The song’s topic involves serious accusations of fathering an illegitimate child. Singing from the perspective of denying those allegations night after night understandably made Jackson uneasy. He likely worried about how his young fanbase would interpret the mature topic.
Throughout his career, Jackson strived to maintain a wholesome, childlike image. Songs about paternity suits and groupie romances didn’t exactly match that squeaky clean persona. Jackson once said:
“When I write and sing songs, I always think of the kids. I’d hate to lead them in the wrong direction.”
Jackson was a consummate professional, so he continued performing “Billie Jean” even as it topped charts worldwide. But he clearly felt awkward singing such mature lyrics to his legions of underage fans. During the Bad Tour in the late 1980s, Jackson usually performed an abbreviated version of “Billie Jean”, skipping the most controversial lyrics.
Even during his legendary Motown 25 performance in 1983, Jackson seems to curtail the lyrics, letting his dazzling dance moves take center stage instead. He never lost his unease with the song.
In later years, Jackson explicitly instructed his backing singers to handle the most lurid lyrics. During the HIStory Tour in 1997, Jackson would have two female singers deliver the lines: “Billie Jean is not my lover/she’s just a girl who claims that I am the one.” Jackson felt more comfortable letting them sing the questionable lyrics on his behalf.
Beyond just the lyrics, Jackson likely felt awkward due to the deeply personal nature of “Billie Jean”. Though he denied fathering illegitimate children, tabloids often targeted Jackson’s personal life. Rumors swirled about his sexuality, friendships with children, and more. “Billie Jean” eerily paralleled the rumors that dogged his career.
Singing from the perspective of a hounded celebrity denying tabloid gossip may have felt far too close to home for Jackson’s comfort. The line “people always told me be careful what you do” mirrored the constant scrutiny Jackson faced. The paparazzi, tabloids, and public opinion put Jackson under overwhelming pressure throughout his career.
“Billie Jean” also explores themes of paranoia and fear of women that Jackson may have found unsettling. The narrator describes Billie Jean as a relentless stalker, saying “she came and stood right by me”. He distrusts the entire situation, paranoid that “every head turned with eyes that dreamed of being the one”. The song radiates a fearful distrust between the sexes.
As a Jehovah’s Witness, Jackson maintained a fairly conservative view of gender relations. Singing from this paranoid perspective of mistrusting women may have clashed with Jackson’s religious upbringing and desired public image. No wonder he felt awkward singing “Billie Jean”, despite its stratospheric success.
In retrospect, Jackson’s discomfort is poignant and speaks to his character. He valued his young audience and wanted to protect them. Rumors likely haunted him, making “Billie Jean” feel too personal. The paranoia and mature themes clashed with Jackson’s wholesome persona. Ultimately, Jackson prioritized his personal values and public image over fame or fortune.
Forced to choose between fame and integrity, most artists would embrace the hit song regardless of awkwardness. But Jackson’s commitment to his vision and principles makes his unease singing “Billie Jean” especially profound. He reminds us that even mega-stars face challenging choices. And Jackson chose his values over the easy route.
Despite his awkwardness, Jackson leveraged “Billie Jean” to perfection. His otherworldly Motown 25 performance established him as a bona fide superstar. Though he felt uncomfortable with the lyrics, Jackson used the song’s thumping beat and his magical dancing to inspire generations. “Billie Jean” broke down racial barriers on MTV and radio, paving the way for future artists.
Jackson managed to power through his discomfort singing “Billie Jean” and created pure magic. Decades later, both the song and the moonwalk remain cultural touchstones. But next time you hear those familiar bass notes, remember even the King of Pop himself felt awkward singing this classic hit. Jackson’s unease highlights his humanity and integrity. In the end, his artistry and values shone through.
